Here lately I've been thinking of all the synchronicities, dreams and visions
that I've been having. Had an interesting conversation with a friend about men.
That her heart got broken. I told her that I would'nt know what to do but to try
to cheer her up.
You see. I'll admit that I never had a serious relationship with anyone. For
one. During them days. I wasn't ready to commit. I had a bad perspective on
guys. I thought men were animalistic control freaks. That they had the right to
miniulate and dictate over a woman's life. Men scared the hell out me. I wanted
nothing to do with them.
So at one point in my life. I was content being independently single. I had God,
me and myself and I. It was pretty alright. Then as the years went by. I dated a
few guys but none of them were prince charmings, so to speak. I didn't go on a lot
of dates. I mostly stayed to myself. How funny life is. Due to some crazy
situations. I end up staying with cousins, family and friends and saw how they
dealt with relationship issues. I saw the good, bad and the ugly. So I had a
taste of what it's like to live with people who had these different types of
You can say that it's been a series of tests. I learned to take those
situations and turn them around as a learning skill. I saw what mood swings,
attitudes, petpeeves, personalities and behaivor these people had in dealing
with relationships. I was like a scientist studying these things. I anylized
and meditate on what to prepare myself for when I get into a relationship with
Years went by. Here I am in my 30s. Still noone. I have not found the love of my
life. I prayed, asked and wonder if I'm suppose to have someone in my life or am
I'm meant to be eternally single? I also admit that I made a commitment that I'm
willing to save myself for the one true love of my life. That's what's called
great faith and commitment. I trust what the God of the universe has for me. I
sure hope it is so worth the wait.
It's no accident that I'm inspired to write up this blog and I'm typing like
there's no tomorrow. On this day 10/21/12. That I had that conversation with my
friend and just got through reading a very inspirational blog at 4:00 in the
afternoon. I'm opening up about this. That there's a reason why I'm and many
other woman are going through this. A heart break sucks. I tried my best to
guard my heart where it won't go that far to be broken. I've seen what a broken
heart can lead to. It is'nt pretty. I'm pretty strong but do have my weaknesses.
I'm still hopful for a better tomorrow. I have discernment. I have faith and I
have that hope. Eventhough, I'm only human. I look for best in eveything. It's
hard sometimes. Hanging in there!
Now you read this stuff on blogs about being self approved, independent and all
that. That's great. Is it just me or is it that I feel for a desire to spend my
life with someone? I do would like to be with a special someone to hug, kiss and
to wake me up in the morning. Saying, "I love you." With meaning. It's kinda
lonesome being single. Yes, I'm a hopfull romantic. I like the whole fairytale
concept but I'm also a realist. I see both sides of the spectrum. The light and
the dark of things.
I sure would like to look at the curtin of my life and have a peek at what my
true destiny holds. I guese there are things that are meant to be kept unknown
untill the divine guidence in the universe is ready to reveal it. I like to keep
this in mind. That perhaps that the divine presence has shown me the one. The
one that has been hear all along? That I had the opportunity to meet him? Talked
with him and had an amazing experiences with? Could this posibly be the one? I
dono other then taking one step at a time and hoping to play my cards out right.
That this will all lead up to something. To inspire lots of the woman in the
world who lies hopless that there's hope.
we all want to love and to have that same kind of love in return.